12 options successfull people use when they dealing with toxic people
Toxic people are hard to describe with logic. Some of them don't even realize the negative impact they have on other people, and some of them even enjoy the influence and chaos they bring to other people's lives. In any case, such people create unpleasant situations, conflicts and discord. And such things are usually followed by stress.
Studies prove that stress has a negative effect on the brain and mental abilities. Even a small amount of time in stress can seriously reduce the effectiveness of the neurons that are responsible for memory and thinking. Weeks of stress can have a very serious effect on the brain, and months can even destroy some parts of the neurons. Stress can be a critical factor in your quest for success, and if it gets out of control, nothing good will happen.
Most sources of stress in your workplace are fairly easy to identify. If your organization is working to get funding or a grant to help you exist, you are likely to be stressed, but you will know how to get rid of that stress. It is the unexpected sources of stress that keep us from existing normally. Colleagues, clients or your bosses are such sources. Such people can affect you brutally, and sometimes even madly. They put your brain into the very state of stress you need to avoid. Such relationships can provoke heart disease in the victim, eventually leading to a fatal attack.
Of course, there are various strategies that successful people employ when they encounter toxic people in their activities. Below are the best of these strategies. To deal effectively with such people, you need some strategy that will enable you to have control over most communication, or to eliminate that which is not subject to control. It is important to remember that you can control much more of what you suspect.
Here are the methods many entrepreneurs use to keep other people from influencing their own happiness.
They limit the time they devote to those who like to complain
Negative people and those who like to complain are very unpleasant. Often these people are focused only on their problems and yet have no way of solving them. They want people to start feeling sorry for them so that they can feel better about themselves. Not all people are happy to listen to constant complaining, but often they have to do it out of common courtesy. After all, if you do not listen to someone's problem you will be considered rude and unfeeling. But you have to realize that there is a line between sympathy and whining.
You can avoid this if you know how to set certain boundaries, which will help you, if anything, to distance yourself from someone else's problem when it begins to affect you too negatively. Think of it this way: imagine that the person complaining smokes and you are there. You have to inhale the secondhand smoke. You will, of course, want to move away and distance yourself so that the effects do not spread to your body. That's exactly what happens with complainers. A great way is to ask such people, "How are you going to solve the problem?" Just listen what they say about it.
Battles with toxic people must be chosen correctly
Successful people know the right way to evaluate your strengths and fight for each day, especially if your opponent is a toxic person. In conflict, emotions can make you stiff, and you will suffer serious damage because of it. When you control your emotions and react correctly, you can always recognize when you should engage in conflict and when it is better to postpone discussing the problem.
No need to get involved in unreasonable behavior
Toxic people can drive you crazy because they often behave completely illogically. Make no mistake about it. They do contradict rational behavior. So why do you go along with their strategy and start reacting emotionally to what they say?
The more illogical the person's behavior, the easier it should be for you to deal with their communication. Stop getting sucked into their game. Disengage from the situation and approach it as if they were your test subject, or you're just the psychiatrist in the situation. Don't try to get distracted by the emotional background, just concentrate on the facts.
Don't let people press your weaknesses
Keeping your distance requires awareness. You can't stop a person from pushing your weaknesses unless you understand when and how they do it. You may find yourself in a situation where it is best to take a break and choose a new strategy. That's okay, feel free to take a break to gain strength.
Think about it differently. Imagine a mentally disturbed man in the street who claims to be Napoleon Bonaparte. You wouldn't get into an argument with him to change his mind. When you encounter a colleague who suffers from the same perception problems, there is no need to try to argue with him. Sometimes it is better to calm down and pretend as if you agree with his words. If you do need to correct your colleagues for the sake of the work process, think about how to do it as effectively as possible, with all the arguments that will be on your side.
This is the area that people have the hardest time with. They believe that if they are in the same workspace as someone, they don't have the ability to set certain boundaries. That's not really true. Even if you have one shared team on one project, that doesn't mean you have to communicate with every toxic person the same way you communicate with more adequate team members.
You can always set your own boundaries, but you need to do it more proactively. If you let the situation happen on its own, you probably won't notice yourself getting dragged into heavy conversations. If you set your own boundaries correctly, and decide for yourself when you should communicate with a toxic person, you can have control over a chaotic situation. The main thing you have to understand is that you don't give up your boundaries, even if the person tries to break them-and they probably will.
Don't let others limit your joy
When your joy and sense of pleasure depend on some strangers, it's harder and harder for you to have those emotions. Your sense of satisfaction should depend first and foremost on your own works and creations, and then other people's comments will in no way rob you of your happiness.
Yes, it's impossible to completely turn off your reaction to what other people say about you, but try to compare your achievements with other people less, and then other people's remarks will seem to you like an ordinary opinion, which can be different for each person. Your self-esteem should come from your own evaluation. If your week was successful, tell yourself that, and don't let anyone else's opinion get in your way. No matter what people say about you - you can't be as bad - or as good - as people say about you.
Focus on solutions, not problems
What you focus your attention on will determine your mood. If you are constantly focused on problems, you are only prolonging your negative emotions and feelings. If you are constantly looking for solutions to improve your own mind, then you yourself will derive satisfaction from the growth of your abilities.
When we talk about toxic people, if we start discussing their difficulty and insanity, it means that they are already influencing our minds. Stop thinking about the things that make you uncomfortable. Instead, think about how you can deal with it. This will force you to be more effective, and allow you to have more control over the situation. Your stress level will noticeably decrease, and then you'll find it much easier to relate to those people.
Successful people forgive but don't forget
Emotional forgiveness should come quickly, but that doesn't mean that all bad actions should be forgotten. Forgiveness simply requires coming to terms with what happened in order to keep moving forward. It doesn't mean giving your abuser another opportunity to hit you. Successful people don't want to be hit again, especially if they know the person is capable of it. That's why you have to be able to forgive, but be able to defend yourself.
Less negative talk about yourself
Sometimes we absorb the negativity that comes from other people. It is not unusual for us to feel bad about someone else's attitude. But what you think about your feelings can either reinforce all the negative emotions or help you deal with them. Negative self-talk is real and sends us into the abyss of self-destruction. It is really hard to get out of such an emotional pit. Try to avoid talking about yourself in this way as much as possible.
Decrease your caffeine intake
Caffeine consumption increases the release of adrenaline. Adrenaline is what helps us make the right decision in a "hit or run" situation. It's what helps us get up after a fall, survive in difficult situations, and make a sober assessment of threats. This mechanism causes our mind to abandon rational action in favor of a quicker decision, the first thing that comes to mind in a difficult situation. It is fine if you are running away from an angry predator in the woods, but if you are facing a rude colleague who has been thinking all night about what to say to you, it will not help you much.
Many words have already been said about the importance of a good night's sleep, but we can't overlook how much good sleep helps your emotional intelligence and in the business of managing your stress. When you sleep, your brain recharges, copes with all the memories of the day, and allows you to either discard them or retain them. It allows you to wake up awake alert and with renewed energy. Attention and memory will decline if you don't get enough sleep. Your stress will increase in the absence of good sleep, even if there are no other negative factors.
A good night's sleep puts you in a positive frame of mind, allows your creative qualities to wake up, and it will enable you to think more properly in cases of problems with toxic people.
Successful people rely on their family and friends
Yes, we all want to feel like heroes and deal with all the problems on our own, but sometimes it's almost impossible. In the case of dealing with toxic people, you have to admit that some points in your strategy are lame. This means that you can turn to your circle of loved ones for support. Everyone has a friend, colleague or family member who is rooting for you and willing to help you through a difficult situation. Identify these people among your environment, and do not hesitate to ask them for advice. Simply explaining and dealing with the situation together with your ally will help you look at the situation differently. More often than not, other people can offer the most unconventional and interesting solutions, because they are not as emotionally involved in the problem.
It's important to learn and adapt
No matter what industry you work in, you will constantly have to test your character when dealing with toxic people. Will you be able to be cool-headed and make the right decisions every time? Probably not. Fortunately, the brain is versatile and always capable of learning new things if you try interesting strategies and methods to solve your problems. Even if your action is unsuccessful, you will learn from your mistakes. By applying these tips and techniques to dealing with problematic people, you will learn how to deal more effectively with stressful states in your life and reduce the likelihood that the consequences will be critical.
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