What Is a `Likability Quotient` (and How Can You Increase Yours)?
You've heard of the intelligence quotient (IQ) and probably know that it's not very reliable for determining how smart you are. But did you know that there is also a "likability quotient" and that you can take steps to influence your quotient to make yourself more likable?
What is a likability quotient?
Dr. Hendrie Weisinger, an expert in emotional intelligence, wrote about it in 2015, explaining that likability is "an important predictor of success in all areas of life." Simply put, how likeable you are has a direct impact on how successful you are in your friendships, romantic endeavors, professional life and family relationships.
The quotient here refers to measuring your likability, which you can generally gauge by how other people treat and interact with you. Weisinger has used invitations to parties or job promotions as indicators of your likability and related successes, but think about how you treat everyone around you. If your siblings call you regularly to tell you about their day, if your friends trust you with secrets or invite you to important events, or if you have meaningful romantic relationships, you can assume that your likability quotient is high.
How can you increase your likability quotient?
Weisinger suggests focusing on your sense of humor and your ability to listen, and while both contribute to your attractiveness to others, there are a few other things to consider. This week, Dr. Jack Schafter, a former FBI behavior analyst, expanded on Weisinger's suggestions in his own piece for Psychology Today, advising you to consider these so-called "laws" of attraction:
- The Law of Similarity. People with similar ideas, attitudes and interests tend to connect. If you want to be likable, you should consider which groups you want to target - and whether the people in those groups share your interests. It will be easier to be liked by those with whom you have common ground.
- The law of misattribution. Schafter points out that people who are enjoying themselves tend to associate their good mood with those who happen to be around them. Surrounding yourself with people who are having fun or releasing endorphins-whether at the gym or at an office happy hour-will associate you with good times, which increases your likability.
- The Law of Curiosity. "If you behave in a way that evokes curiosity in another person, the likelihood that that person will want to interact with you to satisfy their curiosity increases significantly," Schafter writes. Tell people about your unique experiences, such as growing up in a different environment than your home country or studying something offbeat in college. Give people something to be curious about.
- The law of self-exposure. Be vulnerable but not pushy when connecting with others. This can help you build close relationships because people are naturally inclined to open up and engage with people who are genuine. You're also likely to be vulnerable, and now you have real bonds with each other.
- The Law of Humor. This is obvious, but if you're funny, people will like you. Don't be afraid to show your silly side.
- The law of availability or scarcity. Don't make yourself too available to others, at least not right away. This is related to what we said about curiosity: You should make people want more when you engage with them so they have a reason to seek you out. Don't be desperate, but make it clear that you are a commodity in demand.
Was this article helpful?87 Posted by: 👨 Mildred M. Hoyle
